Non-Beardy Beer » G

GAYMER’S ORIGINAL CIDER

Beer Book — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 12:18:37 +0000

Constellation
UK, 4.5% ABV

As inevitably mentioned elsewhere in these pages, the transformation in the image of cider has been quite remarkable in recent years. The addition of a few simple cubes of frozen water has elevated cider from being the choice of one stereotype to a drink enjoyed by another, possibly more annoying stereotype who – in the adverts, at least – look as if they’d sooner exclaim, ‘Okay-yah!’ than, ‘Oo-ar!’ Take Gaymer’s Original, for instance. A £4million ad campaign featuring a series of bright young things enjoying life to the full made one thing very clear – this ain’t Olde English. ‘As good as it gets,’ claimed the ads, a bold – some might say ludicrous – claim, but full marks for having confidence in their own product. Launched in 2006, the brand is marketed in a chic-but-dull premium bottle, perfect for supping in a faceless trendspot. A relatively new tipple from a very old company, Gaymer’s Original is obviously produced by the Gaymer Cider Company – so, pedantry fans, why is there no possessive apostrophe on the new bottle logo if ‘Gaymers’ belongs to Gaymer? Gaymer still make cider using the traditional pressing methods that they have been using for centuries, and source English apples from their own orchards. Their bottles of Original are not as strong as some other ciders around, but it still tastes as any cider should and will no doubt always appeal to whichever stereotype the advertisers want money from. RM

GAYMER’S OLDE ENGLISH

Beer Book — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:17:39 +0000

Constellation
UK, 4.5% ABV

Part of the Constellation group, the Gaymer Cider Company announced in March 2008 that is was giving Gaymer’s Olde English Cider a £1.2 million marketing boost with a new ‘contemporary’ packaging design. That an ‘Olde English’ cider needs contemporary packaging must say something about current UK drinking trends. Gaymer believe that the updated packaging will bring new customers to the brand – which is more than the taste can be doing. That’s the problem with Olde English: it looks bright and golden, and it sounds traditional and full of history, but unfortunately it doesn’t quite work on the palate. Although it has been brewed under the Olde English name since the 18th century, its production was transferred to Shepton Mallet in Somerset in the mid 1990s after over 200 years of cider making in Attleborough in Norfolk. The brewers reckon they have been able to replicate Norfolk water in Somerset without affecting the taste, but can a drink really taste the same after its production is shifted across the country? One thing that has definitely changed is the ABV – reduced from 5.3% to 4.5%. What ye olde cyder drinkers would make of this is anyone’s guess. Back when it was first brewed in the 1770s, farm workers were paid for their efforts with gallon-jugs of Olde English – perhaps the 18th century equivalent of minimum wage. Back in the 2000s, Gaymer has started sponsoring music festivals – and when you’re up to your oxters in mud and music, who cares what you’re drinking? HC

GREENE KING IPA

Beer Book — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:53:21 +0000

Greene King
UK, 3.6-5% ABV

Greene King call this is the UK’s number one award-winning cask ale. Benjamin Greene, grandfather of Brighton Rock writer Graham Greene, established the Greene King’s Westgate brewery in 1799, and India Pale Ale found its way to British drinkers via a shipwrecked cargo en route to India in 1827. If you’re a seasoned lager man, then the chances are that you’ll not like this because it isn’t fizzy, and, well… it doesn’t taste of lager either. I don’t really know what ‘a hoppy taste’ actually tastes of, nor can I adequately describe it, but IPA certainly isn’t unpleasant, and, like Brown Ale, I can neck a couple if they are freezing cold and not feel like I’ve been unfaithful to my beloved lager. It’s not as dark as Brown Ale (paler, in fact), and being quite a strong one, you certainly do feel the effects while deciding whether you like it or not. I don’t know if it is a cunning plan or not, but the bitter aftertaste made me thirsty and unable to stop drinking it; and not because I want more of it, either – just because I don’t happen to have any lager in my fridge. I assume this is what’s known as an acquired taste. As far as I see it, I don’t want to taste anything bitter. Sweet is fine, even dry, but bitter to me is just wrong. Bitter is not enjoyable. But IPA has been around for yonks, so there must be plenty of people who like it. SW

GUINNESS ORIGINAL

Beer Book — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:24:26 +0000

Diageo
Ireland, 4.2 ABV

There’s an old woman who sits with her dog in the snug of our local faux-Irish pub. She drinks Guinness, but swears blind that it tastes much better in Ireland. She also swears that her dog knows when it’s his birthday. In short, she’s bonkers. Nevertheless there remains a strong school of thought asserting that Guinness does indeed taste better in Ireland. Guinness itself has never put forward such notions. The official line is that, ‘in blind tests (with a bunch of highly cynical journalists) none of our sample could tell the difference between Irish-brewed Guinness and the locally produced variety’. (What are they going to say: ‘Yep – we keep all the best stuff for Ireland and flog off the rubbish to everyone else’?). Anyway, Guinness Original (and widget-fuelled Guinness Draught) comes in cans and bottles so, without the rigmarole involved in serving the draught variety, it should taste pretty much the same wherever you are in the world – and Guinness Original is a bottled delight. This is the stuff that is brewed to the original recipe which was first concocted by Arthur Guinness back in the 18th century when the ancestor of this beer was known as Guinness East and West India Porter. Think of it as the Guinness equivalent of a bottle of wine; strong tasting with a very distinctive roasted bitterness and an ideal accompaniment to a hearty meal – and, sod it, the ideal drink to actually make a meal with. It’s just the job in a casserole. RM

GUINNESS DRAUGHT / EXTRA COLD

Beer Book — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 12:23:11 +0000

Diageo
Ireland, 4.1% ABV

Ah, the black stuff; full of goodness and health, though not wealth, the stuff of life, each pint a meal in itself, each glass (half pint) the rumoured ‘fix’ for every malady known to man. Made with water cascading from Wicklow mountain springs, not the slow waters of the River Liffey, Guinness pervades every corner of the globe. From the old colonial pubs of the Sydney Rocks, to Manhattan’s ubiquitous ‘Irish’ bars, from the swish hotels of Hong Kong, to the package tourist traps of the Med, this Irish staple will likely be the first beer tap you see. My first real Guinness session occurred during a ‘business trip’ to Dublin that took three days to recover from, and I’ve since become very partial to Guinness Draught, especially when accompanied in the Irish style with a Jameson chaser. But Extra Cold – served 3 degrees cooler than the more traditional version – is now my preferred Guinness. It takes 119.5 seconds to pour the perfect pint of Guinness Draught, apparently. Served in a two part pour, a mix of nitrogen and carbon dioxide creates the alluring Guinness swirl. Watch it tumble – a broth of muddy brown slop, gradually clearing from the bottom, forming a gloriously jet-black pint with a wonderfully creamy white head, then savour the fresh coldness and the full stout flavour with its traces of caramel and roasted hops. Most definitely worth waiting for, so don’t rush the barman. WDL

GROLSCH

Beer Book — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:18:38 +0000

SABMiller
Netherlands, 5% ABV

Pop fans have been known to wear some downright ridiculous things in their time to show allegiance to their idols. Take Bay City Rollers nuts, for instance, who saw nothing odd in trimming their bell-bottoms with yards and yards of tartan. And then there were the Adam and the Ants aficionados who wouldn’t cross the door unless done up like Captain Hook’s disadvantaged brother. And then we have the Brosettes – an army of teen girls aligned to 1980s boyband Bros, a low-quality trio that somehow managed to crash the charts with tracks such as When Will I Be Famous? Brosettes had a strict dress code which involved puffa jackets, ripped jeans, Doc Marten boots and, curiously, Grolsch bottle tops tied to their bootlaces. Think of Grolsch and you immediately think of that bottle top – a stopper attached to the bottle neck that could be opened with a satisfying flip action, eliminating the need for a conventional bottle-opener. It is doubtful whether any Brosettes knew the rich history of the Dutch brewery – which was founded back in 1615 – but for me this premium lager definitely tastes better out of the bottle than on draught, although the bottle-drinking experience is undoubtedly enhanced by the pleasure that can be had in fiddling with that unique top. If you do decide to pop out for a Grolsch, why not try one of the various hostelries in the South London area? Chances are that one of Bros will actually be serving you. RM