CARLING C2
Coors
UK, 2% ABV
If ever a lager was created by people without the slightest idea of what drinkers want then this is it. A bland, inoffensive-tasting pint that – yes – will quench your thirst if your throat is dry, but come on, so will a cup of tea. And Carling C2 is two percent proof. That’s only half as strong as Foster’s, which in turn is only half as strong as Duvel, which the Belgians can cope with just dandy without all hell breaking loose. Carling calls it a ‘mid-strength’ lager, but fans of Tennent’s Super or Special Brew might disagree. So what is the point of Carling C2? Does it have a particularly compelling taste? Of course not – the fact that the word ‘Carling’ is in the name should tell you all you need to know about that. And this, Carling claim, is the result of ten years of research involving almost 1,000 recipes. ‘We can’t say exactly how it’s done,’ say Carling, ‘or anyone with a mash tin and a lifetime of brewing experience would be at it.’ Ten years of effort to come up with something that is effectively a brand-name shandy? In other news, cancer remains uncured. Carling’s ‘master brewers’ have wasted their time, and if you buy C2 you’ll be wasting yours. The fact that in recent adverts C2 happens to be a robot’s tipple of choice tells you all you need to know, I’m afraid. I’m human, and I’d probably reach for the engine oil before sinking one of these. DA
