STRONGBOW
Scottish & Newcastle
UK, 5.5% ABV
What is it with alcohol and advertising at the moment? Cider bestseller Strongbow has bucked the trend of using arty scenes of orchards and much-happier-than-me Irish folks enjoying a seasonal cider, and has instead gone down the leery-beery route favoured by Carling and WKD, with ads featuring gobby, matey oiks living life to full down the boozer. I want to drink Strongbow (made by HP Bulmer, as opposed to Bulmers Ireland, for S&N) as it retains an almost earthy, barely washed, gig-going coolness that, coupled with its cool, clean taste, makes it a very palatable drink, and a fantastic 50% ingredient of snakebite. But I do not want to drink it if – as the adverts suggests – I will become by association a great lumbering ox of a man, with more than a touch of the Munster in his gene pool, who cannot sup a pint of cider without a ridiculously drawn out ‘look at me’ sigh of refreshment. I mean, what was wrong with Strongbow’s famous two arrows that twanged into the bar at the end of the old ads? And they were actually a historical reference. Hands up who knew the cider was named after Richard ‘Strongbow’ de Clare, the 2nd Earl of Pembroke? If you can ignore the new adverts, Strongbow is a reliable tipple. You will become far more blurry and fighty (it’s 5.3% ABV), and tempered by recurrent and agonising bouts of acid reflux, but fear not, the advantages of Strongbow outweigh these piffling trifles. Twang. Twang. SG
