Coors
UK, 3.7% ABV
 
Old warhorse Stones Bitter has been around since the 1940s when William Stones Ltd began to make the stuff at the Cannon Brewery in Sheffield. Sean Bean worked there – or at least his character did in the football Britflick When Saturday Comes. The brewery was closed in 1999, and Stones is now brewed by American conglomerate Coors in Burton-on-Trent. In its bright orange cans, Stones is perhaps the EasyJet of beers.  Pouring it into a glass reveals a drink that almost exactly matches the colour of the can. It looks fizzy, it looks weak, it looks like Iron Brew. Stones was the first ever alcoholic drink I tasted. I was seven and my granddad asked me if I could pour him a can. I sneaked a little taste and promptly spat the horrible poison back into his glass. Thankfully, he didn’t notice. But it got me thinking, what was the big deal about drinking beer? It was horrible. Obviously, since then, I have learnt the error of my ways and now drink as frequently as possible. But I’m still no fan of Stones. It used to be called Stones Best Bitter. Perhaps the Office of Fair Trading had something to do with the removal of the word ‘best’. If I’m at a party and it’s the only drink there, I’ll drink it. But I would then have to ask myself, what kind of crappy parties am I going to where people are bringing Stones Bitter? JR

27 July 2009 | Reviews, S