PILSNER URQUELL
SABMiller
Czech Republic, 4.4% ABV
Another claimant to being the original pilsner beer, Pilsner Urquell (that’s ur-kwell, pronunciation fans) was first brewed in 1842 in Pilsen – the Czech town from which the name pilsner derives – by Josef Groll, a man so admirably bad-tempered he was described as the ‘coarsest man in the whole of Bavaria’. As Bob Dylan is to every yowling busker, this is the stuff that every two-bob placebo lager is trying to emulate. And, being 160-odd years old, Urquell have had plenty of time to impose stipulations that would make the taxman blush. First of all, they demand Pilsner Urquell should never be consumed straight from the bottle, as you won’t release the full crisp flavour or floral aroma. So get a glass. Next, rinse that glass with cold water for at least five seconds to get it to 7°C with a maximum variance of plus or minus 1°C, and then, using a protractor and some very patient friends, hold the bottle at a 45° angle and the glass almost horizontally. Now pour, if you can still be bothered. Be careful, though, as interrupted pouring can cause what they describe as a beer with a ‘bald spot’ and a ‘cauliflower’ head, or what the layman would call a pint that looks like Lawrence Dallaglio after a nine-try hammering. It’s a damn fine beer, but, Lord, what a carry on. Is it any wonder that the fuss-free imitators have nipped in and pinched their market? MJ
