MAGNERS ORIGINAL CIDER
Bulmers
Ireland, 4.5 ABV
Magners, Bulmers – whatever – it’s all the same when it comes out the other end. Glaswegians were the first outside of Ireland to taste Magners, and with their seal of approval it must be worth getting hammered on. Eh, cider drinking is sociably acceptable? When did all this happen? Well, the secret of this pretention is the addition of the i-word. Ta daaaa… you no longer feel ashamed; you’re sophisticated and fashionable. It tastes like apples, believe it or not. What else were you expecting? It is the perfect drink. Gorgeous. Everyone will bang on about drinking it in the summer, but I reckon it is a drink for any single day of the year. Picture a frosted pint glass loaded with ice cubes, a freshly opened bottle, the nectar fizzing down the bottle-neck as it’s poured over the ice, cracking and bubbling all the way to the top. You’re sitting outside in the height of summer, the sun beating down on your bronzed washboard stomach as your supermodel girlfriend brings the glass to your mouth. She runs her finger up the coldness of the glass then traces it over her lips before licking it. And then you wake up. You’re alone in the house, no ice, a sad and uncultured pig, wincing at the harshness of the taste. You’re watching the Jeremy Kyle Show, laughing. The sickly-sweet smell repeats on you as you burp, admiring the bottle, ‘It looks just like Bulmers,’ you say. SW
